Something Every Day That Scares You

So today I was at lunch with some friends (all production majors...go figure) when one of them points out Dr. Casper in line for food by the salad bar. I have a little mini freak out and then ask them if "should we invite him over to have lunch with us?" The other people in the group were like "You can ask him." So I did.

It was so scary. He's not a scary-looking man and he's not big or mean-looking, he's just massively intimidating. He has a presence that makes you feel small and insignificant, and he does it on purpose, but for some reason it doesn't feel malicious. Its like, "You are going to be treated this bad and much worse in this industry, so you better grow some balls and know your shit cause if you don't, they'll break you in half." He's horrible to you on purpose but for some reason it feels like its for your benefit. It might have something to do with the fact that he's so polite and asks you your name before telling you you know nothing and that your whole generation is only interested in movies with "sex and explosions." Oh and also "Cell phones are the devil." But I digress.

I went up to him and said "Dr. Casper, would you like to come sit with us?" At this point my heart is past my throat and is somewhere in orbit around Jupiter when he says "Oh, I'm sitting with someone else. I'm sorry. What's your name?" "My name is Cassidy. Like Butch? Or hop-a-long?" "OH YES!" he says. "From 190, you sit on this side. Cassidy." "Yes." "I'll see you at two."

So now I've accomplished my scary thing for the day and think my adventure is over. I get to class and sit in my normal spot. And Casper comes up to the front of the class and says "Cassidy! We have many things to talk about today, Cassidy!" He proceeds to mention my name about every 30 seconds for the next five minutes of class. And then to call on me repeatedly. So now I'm officially screwed because he will never forget my name or where I sit for the rest of the semester. I will be forever doomed to be called on and asked questions I don't know the answer to. I can never fall asleep in his class or bring other work to his lectures. I have made my life much more difficult and I'm so happy I did.

At one point he comes up to a friend named Tim and says "What is the exit of Gene Kelly at the end of 'Singin' in the Rain?'" And Tim, like a good friend, says, "I don't know you better go to Cassidy." And of course, I don't know the answer. I guess. I'm wrong. And Casper runs up to me and grabs the pen out of my hand. He says "NO! Cassidy. What are you doing?" and then proceeds to write NO in big capital letters on my arm. This man is one of the strangest teachers I've ever had.



At the end of class Casper begins to relay to us about his intimate relationship with Joan Crawford, how he knew her and was invited for tea at her apartment in Manhattan and how she got him and his family box seats to any broadway show they wanted to see. He ends with "And I will take Joan with me to my grave. And I'll take Cassidy and Tim to my grave as well but obviously for different reasons." And that made it all worth it. Even though I think it was meant as an insult...